Friday, April 17, 2009

The confused me

Today, while taking a break from viewing quantum mechanics lecture videos, I went down for some water. I met Benjo who asked me what was up. I told him that I had this presentation of a b-plan competition coming up in which I had been selected for the finals. Our team still hadn't done anything about it till now. He asked me if I wanted to do an MBA after IIT. I told him that I don't know. Right now, I find all the available prospects like MBA, MS and going for a job crappy. I told him that at the end of the 4th year, I'll go for whatever I find the least crappy. It's not like me to be usually negative but it was an honest answer. The thought that I find all the paths that IIT leads to crappy is a scary one which worries me most these days. I like viewing quantum mechanics lectures on internet even though I do it very irregularly, I love the idea of winning a B plan competition but I haven't worked for it. I would love to become a prof. but I absolutely hate studying. Every day I come to my hostel after classes (or wake up realizing that I missed all the classes), I hardly do anything. I have rough idea of things which I want to do that day but no plan. In the end, I just end up searching arbitrary things related to our b-plan on the internet for about 30 minutes and then start watching 'That 70's show', loving the show but hating myself for watching it all this time. I suspect that my posture of lying down on the bed while I start working is one of the culprits which contribute to my being unproductive. I started today sitting on the chair and keeping my laptop on the table, and I think it has helped because I felt like writing something here today. I feel better that I wrote this as it was a good way to let out my confusions.

7 comments:

Buzz said...

"I would love to be a professor, but I hate studying."

70% of the IITians can relate to this line. Loved your post!

Shantanu said...

Aww man, it is so like you to actually write about such things.

The fact that you wrote about it so freely means you are on your way to solving your problems. Believe me, many people are as confused as you (including me).

I've felt equally or more nihilistic at times. I would love to be an author, but I just never get down to writing anything. I think the best way out is to identify what you love to do, then just start doing it without another thought. I think that thinking too much is the root of most of our problems.

Well, before I start thinking too much, let me get back to work!

anirudh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anirudh said...

@Harsh (Buzz) - really glad to know that even one person can relate to this thought. if u r right abt the 70% figure or even close to it, i guess there is lot of hope for iit and the country if even 10% of these ppl are not as lazy as me :)

@Shantanu- I actually felt very cleared up in the head while writing this and felt that i'm finally getting in the mode to work. and thanks for ur advice, i guess even i need to stop thinking and start working.

and thanx for ur comments. only a blogger can understand the pleasure it gives another fellow blogger on receiving a comment.

And there is one deleted post because i wrote 'stop thinking and start thinking' in that one

jeetu said...

really nice post dude.....
it shows the reality of OUR lives that even if we want to do something but we don't make efforts for that..

samar said...

i think i can relate most to the post.. gladly i am working :) these days..

Ashish said...

very nice post man :) very from the heart. believe me, MANY people go through the same kind of thought process. the fact that you know what you are going through and expressing it itself shows that you are on the right path, as shantanu rightly pointed out. acceptance of the problem is the first step to solving it. just have a positive outlook and dont think of this as wasted time, time spent reminiscing is NEVER wasted :) you should give to your thoughts also and organise them, otherwise you are a damn robot :)